the business
the dinner party was a few days ago now. but before that happened we had to unload the 26 massive barrier whales that we had sold over the internet to different interests. a couple of zoos, but mostly construction companies who use the giant mammals to move around the different parts in the assembly of underwater theme parks.
i have to admit that earlier when i was praising the men so much for all the barrier whale catching, i was unaware of some vital information: barrier whales are very stupid and have terrible natural senses of navigation and can't figure out how to leave the one relatively small area they have all been inhabiting for time immemorial. when they are captured they have a 90% chance of either becoming a pet, a zoo performer or a construction worker; all of which the barrier whale is dim enough to find a much better lot than the relative freedom of the barrier areas where he does nothing and usually doesn't try to. as result, the whales take turns being "captured" as they see it like a nice life opportunity and are too lazy and unagressive to fight for the position. when apparently ignorant whalingmen like me and my crew come around they are in luck because in the throes of incredible cockiness we don't stop catching the bastards until everyone passes out from exhaustion and violently congratulatory slap on the back welts. the few barrier whales that are somehow born freakishly intelligent for their species (compare to an average planet blue whale) soon discover their incredible freedom in a relative paradisical area of equatorial planet at which point they begin to pursue knowledge and discovery and when caught, unlike the 90% of barriers of average intelligence, are used for gourmet food ingredients as they are usually more tender and their giant brains are considered a delicacy as a whole thing. like, around the price of a mid-size yacht...some very rich men have them as the centerpiece at dinner parties. which i will get to. hopefully the events of the dinner don't catch up to me.
i don't think anyone knows what transpired yet.
i have to admit that earlier when i was praising the men so much for all the barrier whale catching, i was unaware of some vital information: barrier whales are very stupid and have terrible natural senses of navigation and can't figure out how to leave the one relatively small area they have all been inhabiting for time immemorial. when they are captured they have a 90% chance of either becoming a pet, a zoo performer or a construction worker; all of which the barrier whale is dim enough to find a much better lot than the relative freedom of the barrier areas where he does nothing and usually doesn't try to. as result, the whales take turns being "captured" as they see it like a nice life opportunity and are too lazy and unagressive to fight for the position. when apparently ignorant whalingmen like me and my crew come around they are in luck because in the throes of incredible cockiness we don't stop catching the bastards until everyone passes out from exhaustion and violently congratulatory slap on the back welts. the few barrier whales that are somehow born freakishly intelligent for their species (compare to an average planet blue whale) soon discover their incredible freedom in a relative paradisical area of equatorial planet at which point they begin to pursue knowledge and discovery and when caught, unlike the 90% of barriers of average intelligence, are used for gourmet food ingredients as they are usually more tender and their giant brains are considered a delicacy as a whole thing. like, around the price of a mid-size yacht...some very rich men have them as the centerpiece at dinner parties. which i will get to. hopefully the events of the dinner don't catch up to me.
i don't think anyone knows what transpired yet.
posted by Damion | 12:52 AM
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