my man

Sir Judge informed me we may (are supposed to) bring a servant or butler to the dinner party and i don't have one, so i shall bring the closest thing: my shaman, grover francis mitchum. hopefully by the time we make landfall his name will have changed to a more servant-like cognomen. i personally prefer something short and sweet like 'snube' or 'croutons'.
Sir Judge somehow does have a servant, even though such things are forbidden on my ship. i informed him of this after he informed me of that, and i told him he would have to be charged with this infraction just like any other member of the crew would be if they were to infract, as my ship always has been and always will be a true democracy where all men are equal before the eyes of MY law and are equally invested in the business of whaling and high-seas adventure with light swashbuckling, and no man, regardless of title is above my decretum. so we had the trial and he was found not guilty by himself. this means he will retain his servant, sod, which is a relief to me, because i would've been terribly embarassed had i shown up to the dinner with my servant-disguised shaman and just the beaten and bloodied, barely breathing body of my hardly-conscious shipsjudge who is the only one who knows the host (or any of the guests for that matter).
the trip continues unabated!

cool hobbies and good diplomacy

we will be arriving in port in a couple of days. i have been invited to another dinner party. i don't feel like going, but it's not for 3 evenings yet, so who the hell knows...by then i might have dinner party fever and be just desperate to party in a very uptight fashion. the amount of consecutive days of being one way or another emotionally in a cycle is shrinking. but at least now i know exactly what's happening when it's happening so there can be some semblance of order up there. i hope in three days i get the dinner party bug, or this is going to be a shitty weekend.
the old bastard who invited us is some wealthy old bastard from guitar city. the place is named so because the mayor, brrAAAAnnehnaannevvwwwaaaIIIIRRRrrvehnanaeeeeAAAIIIInnwowwwwaaaannniinnngggg (who is named after part of a guitar solo he made up) is a fan of electric guitar music. he has so many posters - or so says the wealthy old bastard, Grand Sir Judge Meteor Paisley, who invited me and our shipsjudge, Sir Judge Powerful Trainly. that wealthy old bastard told Sir Judge that the mayor has twelve signed guitars! or guit-boxes as he (the mayor) calls them sometimes for short...or not for short - for different. and also the aforementioned poster collection. he keeps them rolled up in the original factory sealing that they were in when he bought all 1000 of them from the mayor of the neighboring town, New South Textures. they came in a large metal box which came in a large wooden crate that has never been opened so that they can't be damaged. it sits in one of the mayor's poster rooms which has been sealed shut with a wall of reinforced concrete. the mayor of New South Textures, Mike Washington, apparently gave Mayor brrAAAAnnehnaannevvwwwaaaIIIIRRRrrvehnanaeeeeAAAIIIInnwowwwwaaaannniinnngggg a great deal on the collection. they settled at the sum of 25 million planet bucks which is what we call the currency everywhere. each poster is signed by the individual or band it depicts and the entire collection came with a catalogue that mayor brrAAAAnnehnaannevvwwwaaaIIIIRRRrrvehnanaeeeeAAAIIIInnwowwwwaaaannniinnngggg made photocopy duplicates of and posted in a display case outside the room that they are sealed in. he had the original catalogue assassinated. i can't wait to see the duplicates of the pictures of the posters in the greatest poster collection on all of planet!
but first, the dinner party. i heard there are to be 15 other guests at the old bastard's manor, all of whom will have rich and extremely varied back stories. i made sure of that before agreeing to go, so as not to be bored. Sir Judge assured me that all 15 were picked based on a mathematical formula of dissimilarity and not to worry. he also reminded me that even if it was a party of 15 cloned sheep, my not showing up would result in irreparable diplomatic damage due to the fact that the small island city has suprising clout geopolitically, as it controls a vast amount of vibrantly teeming and developable ocean areas. some of these areas feature great under-sea theme parks which we definitely want to check out.

conquering the behemoths

over the past three days i have witnessed some of the most inspired whaling i've ever been party to. something in the men was just clicking and we caught 356 barrier whales. that number seems low compared to our normal tally, but we have not been in an area fit for the life of a barrier whale in some time. actually, ever...we are on the opposite side of planet now. and we took a crazy route. but the barrier whale is the largest of all whales that we know of on planet...or would ocean dwellers be considered in planet? why do the land and rock and ground of planet define it when the water which is vital to the existence of the place does not? the water is a part of planet. the whales are in the water...the whales live in planet...just like the giant wooly, burrowing land whales. the point is the barrier whale, however you define it's position in reference to planet, is about 8 times as large as any other whale on the whole planet. so 356 is like 3,000 regular whales. we've already sold 15 of them.