quite a rare condition

my shaman, phillip j. malara, mentioned something i think could prove to be important. he said i'm perpetually a little bit* late for two minutes from the present. that accounts for my and many of my family members' (probable) longevity. it is a recessive hereditary trait which about 10% of the population has, states my shaman quite frequently lately. people who have it, although they have a greatly lengthened lifespan, end up facing some upsetting troubles towards the end like blurred vision, hearing loss, dizziness and partial invisibility or translucence usually with the development of strong trails or what he calls 'the trailing p'**. philip also says that he doesn't foresee these symptoms becoming apparent in my own aging process for a good deal of time. which is nice of him to say. immediately following this summation, he went to his computer to legally change his name, as he does every other evening to "keep [them] off [his] twisted trail of astral plagiarism and bogus theosophy."
he also is apparently very paranoid, but he has cultivated a generally positive aura for the 1 week i have employed him so far.


one of these women is a carrier of the rare gene (and apparently close to death)


*1 second to be exact. we know this from extensive studies and maths
**the subject's body develops actual trails that are physically present, not the vision problems that cause him to see trails everywhere there is motion.

shipsafety

have you ever had something caught in your eyelid and can't use your fingers delicately enough to get it out? i'm sure everyone has. have you given up in pain and disgust only to decide to stick a shotgun in your mouth and aim it at what you believe to be the back of your eyeball? that would be stupid*. but have you tried the more rational practice of blowing your eye? it's like blowing your nose, but if you have no experience you may shoot your eyeball right out of your head killing a good seaman. especially if you have a scrimshaw eyeball with a pointy lead pupil.
this is what transpired at some point in the last few days (the mixture of days makes it impossible to discern which one it was. there are so many.) one of my top men thought he knew how to blow his eyes and also thought he knew how to blow his ears (which he did ((just ears))) and is also very powerful to himself**. when he attempted what he believed was the best way, his prosthetic eye shot out at 900 feet per second and brained one of my other less notable (thankfully) men***.
the lesson is that we need to come up with some guidelines about prosthetics on board. i will have to get a committee together to figure how to form a team that will be tasked with deciding the best course of action as far as assembling a new department to approve (or disapprove) all prosthetics based on several criteria that are to be determined. for the safety of the crew.

*if you are out of range of a soul net
**he gets hurt trying to do things as hard and fast as possible that he thinks he just naturally can, but can't.
***out of range of a soul net****

****thankfully