sea-sick

the waters have been exceptionally choppy the past few days and almost every member of my crew is currently sea-sick including the captain (me). this is not hugely different for us in day to day activity though, because it is normal for a majority of the men to be stumbling around the ship puking and bumping into things, considering our primary means of sustenance is rum or dirty bathtub moonshine. the extraordinary problem here is that the whales are sea-sick as well. i doubt many of you have ever seen a whale vomit, but you would probably guess that it is not a delicate matter. one whale puking is powerful enough to quickly and violently clear out a large room full of toddlers. our cargo is currently 25 whales and they are all hurling uncontrollably. we already blew out one bilge pump and now with the added strain to the remaining five, we may have a disaster on our hands. the strange thing is the whales seem to be thoroughly enjoying the situation. their howls of laughter intermingled with the horrible sound of fervent whale upchuckery is audible in any area of this massive vessel. i am growing concerned that this may actually be a fiendish plot that they have conceived in order to sink the ship.