visit to the barbarian

i got a fresh new haircut this afternoon. i think it looks great. my hair was to long and it was getting hard to stuff it all into my fancy captain's hat. i was thinking of dying it a different tint also because i have overheard some of the men making fun of my natural hair color (bright pink). i suppose they have a point. i never really thought about it before hearing them, but it is a bit out of place for a stern, rough and tumble whaling captain such as myself to have locks of such a womanly hue. i mean, look at me! i'm a strapping, rugged, seasoned sea captain who is feared by all other seamen. i kill whales! i have a scar on my finger! my shoe-laces are made of gorilla hair! i ate a lightbulb once as part of an important experiment! men look at who i am and cower in fear! i have an uncontrolable bad temper! i enjoy an egg white omelet! i like to make collages with pictures of me and the men and words i cut out of magazines! tuesday night is movie night! this tuesday the movie is mona lisa smile!
i need to dye my hair jet black as quickly as possible.